I'm not SKINNY! Just a 'thick' size 6!

No one is born with insecurities but they sure do accumulate huh?! They become a part of us and it takes consistent reassurance and a strong sense of self worth to keep them at bay.

What insecurities have I accumulated? Well we could be here for quite some time but let me pick one that affects every sex...weight. Look around, the ideal weight for women is 'slim' right? It does not matter if your a 'normal' size 8 or volumptueous size 16 (I had a debate at work about size 8 being normal but the jury's still out on that one lol) in most cases all women just want to be slim hence the reason my sister can find like a thousand websites on how to lose weight and I can find like 3 on how to gain weight *rolls eyes* anyway...

Being a Young Black Woman brought up in an African family all I knew was 'thin' was bad, you know those family gatherings when the grown folks are 'ooing' and 'aaahing'? Well every year pretty much went the same for me, I have 4 siblings so usually it was 'ahh your looking so pretty' (big sis) then 'ahh your getting taller' (lil sis) then 'oh woow aren't you handsome' (lil bro) then 'your looking well' (baby sis) and each year I would mimick their response to me 'hmmm your so thin,why?' ...Like I was God and knew why each year my weight had not catapulted to a size they could appreciate, I do not know what they were expecting  but their genuine surprise and concern amused me like dude you been saying this for 5years try another line!

My problem was I had to eat like a horse to gain weight that could be visually measurable at the next family gathering, one diet that left me looking at myself quite undesirably was the 'jacket potatoe' diet *signs* I literally ate jacket potatoes 3times a day on top of 3weetabixes ,whey protein shake, sadza (african food) etc etc you get it, I ate a gross amount and managed to gain a stone in a week YES a stone! Problem was I was so full half the time I was asleep and had to set my alarm to eat so the dips in my waist (curves) filled out and I was straight up and down needless to say I WAS NOT IMPRESSED! I quit and that was a year and a half ago.

I have always been a size 6-8 and stayed round the same weight 7-8stone, when I turned 22 I said SOD IT! I am not willing to eat until I feel bloated and make myself miserable just to satisfy the 100 (no exaggeration) members of my family. This was me and I had to learn to love me,why? Because if  I been like this since I was a teen its hardly going to drastically change in my 20's! I have to be happy, eat what I want and enjoy every minute of my existence since 'a minute on my lips is also a minute on my hips' (its supposed to be a lifetime ,I'm guessing that saying somehow mentally deters women from eating junk...erm ok) I can live worry free, after all I got my 30's for that!...I'm not skinny anyway, am a 'thick' size 6 ! lol Ciao!